Couples

Fostering A Fulfilling Connection

It can be heartbreaking to feel alone in a relationship, at odds with your partner, a stranger in your own home. Couples therapy can help you get back on track. Yes, date night is important, but my approach goes beyond the quick fixes so there is a more profound understanding of each other and the dynamics of the relationship. This sets you up for a more fulfilling connection and deep appreciation for one another, whereas right now you might be taking one another for granted.

I work with couples who are planning to stay in the relationship and want help making the relationship better. I do not work with domestic violence perpetrators, nor do I get involved in litigation for divorce. I am very LGBTQ+ friendly, and you are welcome in my office.  Relationships can take many forms, so I do not work only with married people.

A Solid Foundation

As Stan Tatkin, the founder of PACT, likes to remind us, relationships are made up. No one has to have a relationship. So why not make it good? Why not approach your relationship with some creativity and curiosity? You are co-creating your relationship, and it needs a solid foundation of trust and safety. No one is one hundred percent reliable all the time, and as we learn to accept this truth and learn to trust ourselves, we grow up and stop using our partner to give us what we didn’t get from our caregivers as children. We differentiate. We liberate ourselves from needing and expecting our partner to be perfect.

Influence and Inspiration for My Couples Therapy

Although my couples work is inspired by many sources, the three main schools of thought that inform it are PACT, EFT, and psychodynamic psychotherapy. PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) helps me help you feel emotionally safe with each other again, as a base for working on your relationship. EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) encourages couples to figure out what the “dance” is that they are repeating instead of living in the moment. Psychodynamic therapy recognizes that there is more going on than meets the eye. How is it that your respective pasts are impacting your relationship? What powerful unconscious forces are influencing your behavior? As therapist and author Dave Richo says, “Being loved brings up the past because we are reminded of what was once there or what was always missing.” Use couples counseling to work through the deficiencies and hurts of the past so you can stop missing out on what is right there in front of you: each other. Learn more about my background in counseling couples.